Visit the official, non-existent Disney site for Ducks On Ice!

Don't forget to use the word "the" as much as possible whenever it's not needed. Examples:

The Google.com
"Just launch the google.com and do a search for..."

The Amazon.com
"Ok, I just bought those shoes at the amazon.com..."

Five ideas I've had for family-themed restaurants

Five creatures I would display interacting with one another if I ran a creationism museum

Five fake titles for those tiny booklets sold in the supermarket check out line

See more at the 5ives.com

1. Corn Mash Inspector at A.B. Denim's Grain Reduction Facility in Muncie, Indiana.

2. Efficiency Optimization Consultant at the Prime Meridian Conservatory in Greenwich, England.

3. Senior Park Ranger at the Children's Cott'n Candy Pink Elephant Pett'n Zoo in Kaula Lampur, Malaysia.

4. Field Trip Evangelist (and lead piano tuner) at The Jansen R. Murray School for Highly Gifted Children in Allentown, PA.

5. Special Advisor to the Committee for Quality Assurance: Barcode Division at the CERN SuperCollider in Geneva, Switzerland.